It has been a few days since the release of my film ‘The Bleakness’. Upon reaching out to people, my inbox has been flooded with messages of kindness, sorrow and most of all a unique collection of connection. So many individuals have been kind and brave enough to share their stories with me, perhaps without ever finding the courage to reach out to anyone before. This truly has been a humbling experience. I, in no way have the cure or remedy to the illness described in the film, but I do know that talking about it helps management and communal understanding. Those that feel creativity does not engage people to move towards a better place, are seriously misguided. I feel that opening up your creative realms (wherever they may lead), expose many emotions positive, negative or balanced and helps give them a place to go, with the view of eventually leading to self realisation. I describe it as holding a feeling in a closed room with no doors, sometimes you just have to say ‘fuck it’ I’m knocking a wall down, even if it takes what seems like forever.
One thing I have taken from this experience is that you need a whole lot of strength to live in a world that does not truly understand mental illness. Each day living is another day stronger, even if you feel you are deteriorating at times (or even all the time). I also believe that there is a reason why you feel the way you do and the quest to find yourself can be a gruelling journey, but strength of character always appears at the other end, even if it is forged through steel.
Personally, I think the hardest part is self identifying your character, I get told I’m strong all the time and what I do inspires many, these are nice things to say (and I believe it is real to the people that say it), but the connection with myself rarely eventuates. My continued plan this year is to delve it to self-discovery of both myself and others and hopefully my creative endeavours, encourage the likeminded to do the same.
I want to personally thank Matt, for being so candid and honest. It’s funny to think that he thought he wouldn’t have the ability to impact on anyone. I will be showing him the messages of kindness and connection I have received over the last few days and I hope he can feel better understood and relatable to others with likeminded feelings. I certainly resonated with him.
Thanks to everyone who has watched and shared the film. I would also again like to express many thanks those that chose to share their stories with me.
Stay up!
Shayne aka Johnny Brixton.